Can I Set a Curfew for my Lodger?

Q.
I am 62, and just rented out a room to a pretty respectful young man of 25. I am a woman. This is his 3rd night here and at 2:10am I have not seen or heard from him.
Can one make a friendly curfew time?
This is my home with all of my things and I go to bed at 11:00 pm. I do not feel comfortable, closing my bedroom door and sleeping, not knowing when this person is coming home on a work night. How long to leave the porch light on, etc. etc. Thank you

A.
If a landlord prefers to set a curfew for a lodger then this is the type of issue that should have been discussed prior to the lodger moving in. Once a lodger has moved in, setting a curfew could be viewed as changing the terms of the lodging agreement. Whether the agreement was written or spoken, changes to it after the fact of the lodger moving in are harder to push through or make work than if this requirement was stated to potential lodgers right up front.
That said, there is no reason that you can not discuss your situation with your lodger. If possible, let him know that you would prefer to sit down and discuss the arrangements and approach the issue in a non-confrontational manner. There is no point in getting argumentative about the issue if you would like to continue living with this particular lodger. Instead, calmly discuss how you feel about his hours and suggest that one option could be a friendly, informal curfew. It may be that your lodger has no idea how you feel and does not want to make you uncomfortable in your own home. However, you must remember that very few young people will want to live with someone who enforces a strict curfew. You will need to decide if you value this particular tenant more than a friendly curfew.
It may be that you and your lodger can compromise on the curfew issue. He may be able to give you an indication of his schedule so that you have an idea of when he will be home, or you may feel more comfortable telling him the hour at which you will be turning off the porch light, setting the house alarm, etc. The longer you live under the same roof the greater the chances that you will each become more comfortable with each other’s routines.
If you decide that you can not live with this lodger and want to find a replacement who will be happy with a curfew then you do need to give your lodger a short notice period. Generally this period is 7 days (depending on your specific arrangement) unless stated otherwise in the lodging agreement.
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